one word: firstdatebathroomanal
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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