omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am one with the molecules
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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