It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
