Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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