Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
