That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
