WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
