Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
