Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
