Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
