i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So much Jack, so little girl.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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