You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
