she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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