I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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