She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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