Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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