Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
