Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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