Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
