hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
