marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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