R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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