Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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