This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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