I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
