Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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