Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
