so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
