I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
