So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
