Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
