This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
