Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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