I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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