how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
