Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.

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(914): View more from New York

i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.

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(718): View more from New York

you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin

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(614): View more from Ohio

making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy

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(804): View more from Virginia

Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.

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