i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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