he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
