My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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