i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
