I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
