well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
