If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Randomize
