I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
