dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
