dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
