what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
