Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
