dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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