Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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